Why I love my father.

I am one of those lucky people who have their father alive and well. I have many tender and fond memories from my childhood where I can still visualize my father waking me up in the cold winter mornings and then calling me to snuggle up with him. That used to be OUR time. He used to tell me all sorts of stories, fables, and little narratives from Islamic history in the most interesting way. This is how I learned what a good and practicing Muslim should be.

There are a million reasons why I love my father, but I love and respect him the most for what he is: A man of principles and character. To this day, he has always practiced what he preached and has followed through his words.

He instilled in us to earn Halal, and never ever be tempted with the dazzle of Haram money, no matter how attractive it looked. During the times when our family was going through a very rough time, and we were still small children, although he had opportunities to acquire money illegally, he never did. He taught us that a true Muslim would rather eat bread with water than go by unlawful means to spread butter on it. “Never break the law, whether it’s for a penny or a million,” he would often advise us.

Being steadfast in the face of hardship, his strong trust in Allah (God) has never been shaken. My brother, who my father had sent to England to do his M. Phil, came back successful hoping that he will get a very good job with a well known organization in no time, could not secure a job for about two years. As a university professor, my father knew that his own students were in highly influential positions and if he had asked for a little favour, an excellent job would have fallen in my brother’s lap. In a country where nothing moves without slipping money under the table or having a very high level of approach, he stood by his principles. He never even mentioned anything about it to any one and finally my brother, with the Grace of God and his own effort, became a university professor.

My father trained us to come through mundane as well as atypical situations Islamically by posing us with “what if” questions and then guiding us to the right solutions. I remember when I was a child he brought to me and my siblings a very serious question: “What if a child sees his father killing his mother? Should he testify against him or lie to save his father?” “Of course he has to lie,” I said. “After losing his mother if he loses his father, who will take care of him?” Upon that, he said, “but Allah wants you to speak the truth even if it goes against your own. And Allah will provide for the kid.” This was a great lesson for me in being honest.

A strong believer in the Islamic concept of equality for humanity, he would often invite our housemaid to come and sit with us at the same table and have dinner with us. (This in a society where most people think that maids and servants are the lowest of all and don’t have any rights!)

He has retired as a professor. Throughout his teaching career he advised his students against the bad influence of movies, and addictions like smoking and tobacco. To establish this morality by example, he never stepped inside a theater and never smoked or used tobacco in any shape or form.

He is a soft spoken person. His behaviour to my (late) mother was exemplary. He was always polite and never uttered a harsh word to her. He never touched us in anger or rebuked us. But still, we hated making him unhappy or, God forbid, disappointed in us. When I was doing my Master’s, being away from home and tasting a new found freedom with friends, in the first semester my grades slipped. He simply said to me: “If you don’t do your master’s, I won’t survive.” And that was it for me. I bounced right back. He was very ambitious about his children, and now, is the same about his grand kids.

He has always sacrificed his own desires for us, thus inspiring us to do the same. He is a simple man with few needs. He eats simple, lives simple and tries to help others. In his days of retired life, he has made it a mission to look after the poor and teach the Book of Allah to whoever is willing to learn.

My father is my role model. He practices what he preaches. He has always been a beacon of light for me. Although there is a huge distance between us geographically, I always find him next to me, with his kind smile and reassuring “Allah Malik hey” (Allah will take care of it). I pray to Allah to grant him a long, healthy and useful life and keep his cool, loving shade over us for many years to come. Ameen.

Asma Warsi