Mother’s Day

In the Qur’an, the declaration to respect your parents comes right after the command to obey God. This verdict is repeated seven times in the same order. And the famous Hadith of the Prophet (pbuh) about the position of mother when he told a companion three times to “serve your mother” before saying “serve your father” is a household word.

In many countries and cultures, a special day is set aside for recognizing mothers.
Children prepare breakfast for the Mom and bring it to her bed. Some kids give mothers blank cheques for different chores that they would do for them on demand. Grown up kids bring mothers flowers or gifts, take them out for a lavish lunch or dinner and hence express their love and admiration for that most respected woman.

Islam encourages expressing love to people in our life. The more important the person, the deeper the love is.

May 11th is the Mother’s Day in Canada this year (2008). I have some suggestions regarding how to celebrate this day.

This Mother’s Day, treat your mother with your love, respect and kindness for a few hours. And then make it a habit.

If she is alive, spend time with her. Rub her feet; your Jannah lies under her feet. Ask for her forgiveness for anything that you have done to hurt her feelings, whether knowingly or unknowingly; she may not be around the next year.

Make a pledge to yourself that you’ll never talk back to her -- it breaks her heart.
Handle her as if she is a priceless piece of crystal; once gone, it’s gone forever. She may be hard on you sometimes, but you had been very, very hard on her a lot of times.
Talk to her with a smile on your face; keep your frowns away.

Sometimes it’s not your words but the tone of your voice that tells her that you are irritated with her. Avoid that tone and always be patient and polite with her, even when she really annoys you.

Never discredit her opinion right out. Don’t forget, no matter how old you get, you are still her “baby.” Obviously you don’t want her to run your life, but be tactful, not blunt.
Take pride in being obedient to your mother, even in front of your friends; if they are really your friends, they will appreciate it. If they don’t, they don’t deserve your company.

It’s nice to bring her flowers or a gift, but more than that, it’s your TIME that she yearns for. If she lives away from you, make sure to keep in touch as much as you can. She never gets bored of hearing your voice.

Ask her to make Dua’ for you as her supplication goes straight to the heaven and Allah answers a mother’s prayers for her child more than anyone else’s.

If she is not in this world to make dua’ for you, send her the best gift that you can ever give her: Recite some Qur’an and make a dua FOR her. Feed some poor people on her behalf, clothe someone who can not afford to do that, or give some money in charity in her name.

The best charity is the one that continues for a long time, also called Sadiqa-e-Jariah. Find out about the projects that satisfy this need and give some sadaqa for her. It does not have to be a million dollars; even ten dollars suffice, since Allah knows the intentions and rewards accordingly.

If she had not performed Hajj in her life and you can afford to do that, make a Hajj-ul-badal for her.

Ask Allah to forgive her sins, grant her the best place in the paradise and bless her soul with peace.

After doing all this and more, you still won’t be able to pay her back for what she had done for you.

She carried you inside her body for nine long months while suffering a lot of discomfort, went through the pains of labour, nursed (or bottle-fed) you every time you were hungry, took care of you while working for money, bore with your demands, put up with your attitude, listened to your complaints about the unfairness of life and more.

She kissed your hurts away and gave you the confidence that you can face the whole world.

She smiled with you and cried with you. She saw you growing big and strong while herself sliding into old age and fragility, prayed for your long life while ready to give her own life for you, and tried to even leave you with some inheritance when she passed away.

In her dreams she saw you as an adult -- accomplished and influential. She saw you grow from a little weak seedling into a strong tree. Trying to nurture you in the best possible way, she sacrificed her today for your tomorrow.

Yes, this is YOUR mother. This is MY mother: The woman who deserves our salute!!

Asma Warsi

Celebrations and Resolutions: Muslim Style.

I used to be of the opinion that Muslims should not celebrate the New Year since it is not OUR new year. It is about Christian era and thus it’s only for Christians to celebrate. There is nothing for us Muslims to be jubilant about the beginning of a Gregorian year.

But I have revisited my opinion. The calendar we are using today is Common Era (C.E.) and after all, we go about doing our business around the world according to this calendar.

Throughout the world, we follow these dates and times. Since the world has become a global village, people who have their own calendars, like Chinese, Indian, Libyan, etc. also do respect the CE dates when it comes to dealing with other countries. Hence, as much as I love the Hijri calendar, I have decided to be happy about the beginning of this New Year.

It was just a coincidence that the Muslim Hijri new year started this year just about at the end of December -- 29th to be exact.

The irony is that Muslims don’t celebrate the new beginning with a bash. Rather, we are overwhelmed with the grief and sorrow of the Shahadat (martyrdom) of the grandson of the Prophet, Hussain (ra), when he faced Yazid’s huge army with just a handful of male members of his family along with his companions in Karbala.

So I welcomed the year 2009 with a graceful and rather sober greeting. I prayed for peace, prosperity, health, well-being and strong Iman for all of us.

And I also made my new year’s resolution.

I was born and raised in an Islamic family where we were always mindful of our actions being Halal in the sight of Allah. Moderation and balance was also practiced in our daily lives. While rejoicing our successes and achievements, we were told that Muslims are instructed to remember that all the success is from Allah, and to be thankful to Him, and to not neglect poor and needy in times of joy. Feeding relatives and close friends and exchanging gifts was a good practice and also a form of Sadaqa, however, we must never forget the needy. My mother personally delivered food, clothes and money to people who were so humble that they wouldn’t extend their hands for help to anyone.

Today, we are a little bit too pre-occupied with self indulgence. We seem to forget the importance of being grateful to the One Who makes things happen. We also spend less in charity. Moderation, too, is becoming a thing of the past.

Once a Muslim scholar asked a Caliph: “Consider yourself in a desert on a very hot day. There is no water around and you are dying of thirst. At that point if someone brings to you a glass of water and in return asks for half of your estate, would you accept the offer?” “Of course,” the Caliph replied.

“And then, imagine this water does not come out from your body in the form of urine and sweat, you are dying of pain and discomfort, and someone offers you a remedy for the other half of your estate, would you accept the offer?” The Caliph again replied in affirmative.

Upon this, the scholar said: “All that you possess in this world is only worth a glass of water. So why not spend from it in the way of Allah, feed the poor, shelter the orphan and help the needy. Allah will reward you and give you many fold as He has promised.”

So let’s remember Allah and give in his way while we can still do that.

Most people in Canada are just three pay cheques away from becoming homeless. Blessed are the ones who cherish the time of prosperity and make their savings in the bank of Allah, Who gives us from somewhere we can’t even imagine.

I will ask my kids not to celebrate my birthday in the customary way of having dinner and gifts. I will tell them to save a dollar a day in my name and if Allah granted me another year to live, give this money to poor and needy instead.

Being part of the Western society, we can participate in different types of celebrations – but with a Muslim touch, always keeping the balance between religion and culture.

I will start collecting a-dollar-a-day in my piggy bank and give it to poor. That’s my new year’s resolution.

Asma Warsi